This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
