Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
50% drunk capacity currently
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize