is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
