69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
