I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize