i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
