She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just tell him i said nine months
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
