i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
