fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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