yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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