dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
