I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
