booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
please come you make the beer taste better
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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