Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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