Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
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I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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