so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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