I am in a vortex of obligation.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
