he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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