i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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