Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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