Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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