I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
