I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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