I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize