Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
