I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i now understand why vodka
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
