Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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