i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
