Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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