I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
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I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize