So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
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we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh