I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?