Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.