He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
