I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
