he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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