in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
