I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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