i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
