Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
