It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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