Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
