so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
