i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
