The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
