Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
