I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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