i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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