Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize