we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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