I heard we made out
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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