omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
