I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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