Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
