Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
