Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
