OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
