he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize