She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
