You can't special order awesome
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize