you guys were way drunker than both of me
Moan for me like Helen Keller
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
