tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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