I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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