if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Randomize
