It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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