hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
As shirtless as possible
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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