I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
