Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
As shirtless as possible
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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