So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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