Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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