people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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