Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dear god my vagina.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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