wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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